Mar 6th, 2010 by Sarah E. Ludwig
…but life has just basically gotten in the way. It has a tendency to do that on occasion, leaving a person feeling stripped, empty and devoid of energy or gumption of any sort.
I took the kids to say goodbye to their grandma tonight. She is basically asleep most of the time and can’t talk or see anymore, though she did squeeze people’s hands in recognition here and there. Her kidneys have shut down, so it is just a matter of a small amount of time now. It was heartbreaking to see her lying there, so lifeless and fragile, but the upside is that we will all be glad to see her out of whatever suffering she may be going through.
My three older kids spent the majority of the time sitting next to her on the bed, holding her hand, crying and telling her what a great grandma she is and how much they love her. Logan brought his Leapster along, so he was entertained enough during the visit. He understands, as well as an almost-six-year-old can, that she is going to die soon and some days it saddens him greatly, but he seemed more frightened of her tonight than anything. She certainly didn’t look like the grandma he remembers. He did hold her hand for a bit and whispered, “Grandma, it’s Logan,” in her ear.
I can barely wrap my mind around the emptiness her loss is going to leave. While it’s comforting to know that she’ll be in a better place, adjusting to life without her is going to be incredibly difficult. It’s amazing how far-reaching the circles of one person’s life stretch, how many people that life touches and how unaware we are of just exactly its impact until it’s gone.
I suspect that it’s the little things that will inspire the most tears as we adjust: Family gatherings without her family-famous crispy chicken strips, never-to-be-replicated taco meat and the constant sight of her in the background, walking around with one of her infant grandchildren while the rest of us eat; the way she made everything around her peaceful and serene; her teeny, carefully-tended summer strawberries that exploded in juicy sweetness beyond description in one’s mouth; how she pushed her grandchildren in the swings for hours in the backyard, singing songs to them; the generosity and sweetness of spirit she showed to everyone she met; the way her house always felt like a second home, with space, love and necessities in abundance.
I feel so blessed to have known her for all the years I did, to have the many memories I do and most importantly, to have had modeled so well the way a woman should be in spirit and demeanor. I said it before, but it must be said again: This world will be a much sadder, emptier place without her.
Go in peace and love, Carmen.
Tags: cancer, death, grandma, losing grandparent, parenting
Posted in Miscellaneous | 2 Comments »
Feb 25th, 2010 by Sarah E. Ludwig
Logan drew this at school:
Tags: artwork, drawing, kindergarten, school
Posted in Photos | No Comments »
Feb 22nd, 2010 by Sarah E. Ludwig
My blog seems to have rearranged itself, probably after the recent update I did to the current version of WordPress. Grrr.
So now I have yet another thing to add to my already impossibly long to-do list: Figure out how to fix it.
In the meantime, please excuse the weirdness on the home page until I get it figured out.
Tags: blog, CSS, update, WordPress
Posted in Miscellaneous | 2 Comments »
Feb 17th, 2010 by Sarah E. Ludwig
I received the following question from reader MCmomof3:
Does anyone have any advice for how to handle our sore-loser son? I keep thinking he’ll grow out of it, but this kid cannot handle losing or even getting behind. He comes from two go-getter parents who don’t give up until they’re beaten, so this is very foreign to me. John is the youngest of three kids. He’s our most emotional child, yet he also makes us laugh the most.
Recently, we took him to a high school basketball game and our team was down my 7 points in the first quarter. John started talking about going home because we were going to lose. “John, it’s way early in the game, anything can happen, don’t give up so easy,” were the kinds of things we said. Our team ended up winning by about 5 points and it was an exciting game. I knew that was a good lesson for John, but I still don’t see any long term signs of changing.
When we play board games and he gets behind, it’s the same thing. He wants to quit. He’s played Stratego with his siblings about ten times and lost every time. I guess that says something for his ability to keep trying, but I sometimes feel like he’s setting himself up for disaster. I’ve reminded him that that game is for ages ten and up and maybe he’s just not ready. So, is poor sportsmanship and a negative outlook part of growing up or something that should be addressed if it continues? I have not yet sought advice about this matter as the husband doesn’t consider it a “matter” at all.
Thanks!
MCmomof3
Dear MCmomof3,
I have a sore-loser son myself, so I know where you’re coming from. It’s very frustrating to watch him get so upset about losing that no one wants to play games with him as a result. I remind him every time that games are supposed to be fun and that he will win eventually, as well as point out that no one wants to play with him because he acts like that. I’ve even demonstrated to him what he sounds like, which usually elicits a sheepish smile. He has gotten better as he gets older, so I think the main key to curing poor sportsmanship is time.
It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to encourage him not to quit or be a sore loser. As long as you’re consistently giving him that message, I think he will come around as he gets older. Eventually kids figure out that not only do their siblings not want to play with them, but none of their friends do either, when they act like that.
What do you think? Do you have advice for MCmomof3?
Tags: children, competitive, games, kids, mom, parenting, poor loser, poor sport, son, sore loser, sports
