Logan is totally in love with babies. He pretends all of his stuffed animals and toy figures are babies. He acts as if he’s a baby and makes what he considers to be baby noises, which sound exactly like a whimpering puppy. He takes good care of his babies, tucking them in the doll basket he inherited from his sisters, holding them, putting them on my lap for me to hold while he does something else, propping them up to watch him. It’s so sweet.
Lately not only has he been playing with imaginary babies, he’s been saying that he wants a baby. He craves one so much, he wants to put it on his Christmas list.
This morning, there was a real newborn baby on TV, so he paused it and called me over.
“Mom, look at this cute baby.”
“Awww, it is really cute!” I agreed.
“I really want a baby,” he said wistfully. “Why can’t we have a baby?”
Uh, because the factory is closed? This ship has sailed? And because four kids is plenty for me considering my original plan was to have two, then after the twins, three. Logan was a surprise. I have more than enough to handle.
“I’m sorry, honey, but we’re not having any more babies,” I told him, though secretly, the baby on TV had gotten to me too. It would be so nice to have a little body again to cuddle and hold and kiss.
I love babies. I love kids. If I had a nanny, or even a husband who was home in the evenings, I might consider having more of them. Each one is a blessing and I am so grateful for these precious little people, to watch them grow into the adults they will one day be.
Though my baby fever has lessened as Logan gets older, I still succumb to the occasional baby lust, so I have to get my fixes by holding my nieces and nephews. The family calls me “the baby hog” because at get-togethers, I always have a baby in my arms. I assume that the fever eventually goes away completely, but when?
It’s rather hard for me to accept that the reproductive phase of my life is over, even though I don’t actually want another child. Losing the possibility of having another baby is just another symptom of aging, another sign that I’m getting closer to being a grandparent than a new parent.
Do you ever feel baby fever? How do you deal with it? If you’re through having children, how do you feel about it?