Comments on: How much time should we spend playing with our kids?

By: L Olson

L Olson — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:41:53 +0000

Thanks for this great little piece. I often feel guilty that I don’t “play” constantly with my 2 yr old son. I do get down on the floor and do blocks, ABC cards, books, etc with him when I can – but otherwise I am busy cooking, cleaning, and doing work from home. People are always telling me how well he plays independently and I sometimes wonder if they think that’s a good or bad thing. I guess it depends on the parent it is coming from! When my son was younger I would increase his independent playtime more and more which is why he is able to do this.

By: Jen

Jen — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 22:52:17 +0000

I have a two year old girl, she helps me when I cook, we read throughout the day, we play outside as often as we can. I have no problem letting her play on her own while I’m doing chores and necessary things around the house, and neither does she, but I do have a hard time balancing letting her play on her own and me doing my own thing (that’s not “necessary”, like reading a grown-up book!) for a half hour or so during the day. I know I shouldnt feel guilty, because it’s good for both of us, but I don’t know how to explain that to her.

By: Crazy in tx

Crazy in tx — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 23:17:43 +0000

It is not my responsibility to entertain kids all the time or at all for that matter. I am a step parent and my the kids are so clingy and always have been. Play with me, sit and watch tv with me etc. It has ruined our marriage. It should have been a wake up call when we met she still had the kids ages 5 and 7 in bed with her.

I like to retire to my man cave and watch tv and play video games. But the wife thinks b/c she is downstairs with the kids I should be to. I don’t want to hang out with her and kids 100% of the time. I feel like a caged animal. Moms cut the cord already!!

By: Shaley

Shaley — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 21:18:17 +0000

Thank you for your post, and for all of your comments. I actually appreciate John’s comments quite a bit.
My son is 3 years and 3 months, and I have always played with him a lot. Sometimes it actually made me frustrated, because I neglected doing the things that I needed to do. I felt that I shouldn’t leave him to play alone “a lot,” especially after reading about playful parenting techniques.
But you know what? These days he is really pushing away from me. He even told me two days ago that he didn’t want me to play with him and that he wanted to play by himself with his trains and cars. I think he was telling me that he needs some space!

By: julie

julie — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 02:29:33 +0000

I am a nanny who works for parents who NEVER play, read, bathe, cook ect. w/ their kids. Heck, they don’t even make sure their kid’s brush their teeth before they go to bed or when they wake up. Before the parents go to bed (about 8 or 9pm) they drop off a bag of double stuffed orrioes (or something just as sugary) and leave the kids in front of the TV. The kids (the youngest, now 7, was 4 when i started working for them) stay up into the wee hours of the night. The 7 year old is going into second grade. she cannot read, write, or do math at the 2nd grade level. I keep telling the parents she needs more attention but they ignore me and go on spoiling themselves. Neither one of these parents has to work. I could go on and on.

By: db

db — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 22:54:43 +0000

Wow a lot of feeling guilty people on here.
My Dad *never* played with us except occasionally monopoly or a game of football when on vacation. He took us skating or else to the park sometimes I remember. My mom never played with us at all.

My wife right now is on at me because she thinks I should play more with them. I read with them a half hour a day and we go for walks or bicycle rides and then I take them to the park or somewhere else all weekend. Quite frankly I’m exhausted. I think I’m doing way more than my parents did so what is there to feel guilty about?

By: Sarah E. Ludwig

Sarah E. Ludwig — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 16:08:13 +0000

I completely agree with you, John!

By: John

John — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 05:58:52 +0000

kids don’t need you to be their friend, they need you to be their parent. You can teach your kids a lot with statemtents like – ‘I have to do my chores first (cooking, work, etc) then I can play.’; or, ‘How about you choose what we do for 20 minutes (playing cars, etc.) and I will choose what we do for 20 minutes (read together, quiet time,etc.).’; or, ‘I don’t really enjoy playing _____, lets think of something we both enjoy to do together.’ Also, think of ways they can help you with your chores, or help them think of things they can do on their own, or give them a challenge like ‘lets see how tall of a tower you can build with legos’. Ask them questions, like ‘do you know why I go to work, or what I do at work.’ They will learn a lot from you. You might learn from them too.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 06:17:14 +0000

I, too would rather read to them, talk or cuddle. I try to play games or just run around with them. For a long time, I felt guilt if I didn’t play with them every moment of the day. I eventually realized that I also have things to do, too and stopped beating myself up for it.

By: Julie

Julie — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:04:39 +0000

^^ha ha…I meant prepare meals not mails, but you get the idea…lol