Logan will be 5 in a few weeks. By the time school starts in the fall, he’ll be 5-1/2. The girls, whose birthday is in June, started kindergarten when they were 5. Cody started this fall at age 6 because his birthday is in mid-August, right on the cutoff line.
And thus begins the kindergarten dilemma, which, up until a month ago, really wasn’t a dilemma in my mind.
Logan’s bright. I didn’t ever have a second thought about sending him to kindergarten in the fall. I’m not crazy at all about the schedule — all day, every day — but I figured that 5-1/2 is a fairly good age to send a kid, while 6-1/2 seems excessively old to me. Of course my feelings on age appropriateness are probably influenced by the fact that I started kindergarten at the tender age of 4 (I have a September birthday).
However, according to his preschool teacher and the early childhood development coordinator, he has several problems. One is that he evidently doesn’t have the fine motor skills he should at his age, which I find strange because up until this school year, they were exceptional. I decided that this must be because he is completely ambidextrous and doesn’t seem to favor one hand over another. He uses both equally, at home, anyway.
But the big problem, apparently, is that he is lacking in social skills. Logan is a thinker, and as such, he is often in whatever world he has constructed in his head. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work very well in a classroom setting. When it’s time to move to the next thing, he can almost always be counted on to be off in Logan-land, causing his teachers to have to call his name repeatedly in an attempt to gain his attention. As a result, he gets behind the others and doesn’t speak up to ask what’s going on if he’s not sure.
This year, our school started a junior kindergarten program, so the teachers are encouraging me to think about sending him to junior kindergarten instead, provided they have one (they have to have a certain number of students and it will probably be close). I’m definitely open to the idea, as I don’t want him falling hopelessly behind and becoming lost in the shuffle of kindergarten, but I’m not sold on it.
I’m not sure why I’m hesitant to hold him back. It could be my feelings on the age issue. It could also be because Logan is intelligent and I’m afraid that by the time September rolls around, he will be bored going to preschool three mornings a week, for the third year, followed by afternoons of junior kindergarten. On the other hand, that small setting might be just what he needs.
A lot can change in six months. Hopefully I’ll know better where he’s going to belong by the end of the summer.
I’m just hoping that his presence (or lack thereof) in junior kindergarten isn’t the swing vote that decides on its existence.
Do you have a child with similar circumstances? How will you handle it? Do you feel that there are many kids these days who start kindergarten at a later age?
As a mother of five and a former kindergarten teacher I have these thoughts and suggestions:
Reading your post I don’t get the impression that you thought Logan was young. He has been very capable at home and so that counts for a lot. Often if parents are concerned by what they see at home, it’s a good idea to act on that.
If Logan has always been in “Logan-land” as you put it, he has social issues, but these are not the kind that he will just grow out of. If anything, if it appears to be a problem-ie he won’t ask for help when he needs it because he’s missed something-then keeping him out of school for another year will not solve the problem. My son who is in fourth grade still struggles with these issues. Should I have kept kept waiting? Obviously not. In a situation where it is a social issue that a child is not going to grow out of, then I would suggest social skills groups or other types of settings to strengthen these skills. The teacher also will want a heads up to know to help when help is needed. If she’s doing her job, she won’t let him fall behind. There are a lot of kids who are thinkers and not always attending like we think they should-it’s not necessarily a sign they are too young for kindergarten.
I would suggest having an OT-especially one specializing in handwriting to evaluate your son. It will cost some money, but he/she can give you some insight on how delayed your son really is. My son had fine motor issues that have improved with the help of OT, but he naturally has very low muscle tone and so these will always be issues for him-it’s not something that he will outgrow in a year. A great book for parents with preschoolers who may have issues with handwriting is “Handwriting without tears” by Jan Olsen. I have met her personally and our OT used the program with my son. I’ve also witnessed other students of mine use the program with great success.
My son was 5 1/2 when he started kindergarten. I was wishing he could have been a summer birthday so he could have had a bit more time. He was the only one who could not draw a picture of himself at the beginning of the year, yet he was already reading and very cognitively advanced. He was not a social person by any means. He had 2 1/2 years of preschool with OT and speech help (for other issues) and he has been a slow but steady achiever. I talk to the teacher at the beginning of the year, ask for a organized teacher with clear expectations of her students (not the type that flies by the seat of her pants) and maintain a daily/weekly dialogue with the teacher. My son is working at above grade level in math and reading. The social interactions are still coming and my son still tends to drift off into “Ben-land” if you will. He’s also a thinker-we just try to help him remember when it’s appropriate to “think” and when he needs to focus on what’s going on. I’m not sorry that I didn’t wait another year.
Finally, a lot will happen between now and then. Your son will probably be okay.
Saying all that I would make one suggestion if it is available and possible. Place Logan in a private kindergarten class. If he does well, then put him in first grade at the school you were planning on him attending. If he just does okay and it is recommended that he repeat kindergarten, then place him in kindergarten at your home school.
Hope this was of some help.
Micki
Micki,
Thank you so much for sharing your son’s story. I appreciate your extremely helpful advice and thoughts.
Unfortunately, a private school is not really an option. We live in a rural area, so there is one school for the kids, unless I want to drive them 35 miles twice a day. Sounds like a good suggestion though.
I don’t think Logan is necessarily very behind in fine motor skills. I say this because until this school year, the teacher was amazed at how well he could cut and draw for his age. Also, at the age of 2, he sat and placed all the pieces in the game “Perfection” in about 2 minutes. (If you’re not familiar with it, the pieces are tiny and some look very similar. I have a hard time doing it that fast.)
If I notice more of a problem at home though, or if the teacher mentions anything else in this area, I will definitely be checking out the book you recommended. I truly think it’s because he uses both hands equally though and therefore hasn’t developed either one.
Again, thank you for taking the time to post on this. Your words of experience and wisdom are invaluable and completely in keeping with the purpose of my blog. We all need to learn from each other’s experiences in order to better make informed decisions regarding our own kids.
Best wishes,
Sarah
right there with ya…did a post about it http://www.nj.com/parenting/fiona_charles/index.ssf/2009/01/one_moms_dilemma_on_whether_to.html
Boys are behind about a year (socially, esp.) when they enter kindergarten as compared to a girl and about 2 years at middle school age. They catch up later.
Follow your heart and the advice of those you trust.
http://frisbeepainting.com