I got the idea for this post from one of my new favorite blogs, The Meanest Mom. Thank you to Jana for the inspiration.

Guilty As Charged:

1. If we don’t have to go anywhere, we’re usually in our pajamas, most or all of the day.

2. When I’m trying to get something done that requires intense concentration for my writing business, I use the TV and/or computer as a baby-sitter.

3. I throw away toys that keep getting left out, especially if there are teeny pieces involved, even more especially if I keep stepping on said teeny pieces. Annoying toys often mysteriously “go missing.”

4. My attic harbors bags and bags of my girls’ old clothes, some of which have been ruined by a leaky roof, and all of which need to be pitched.

5. Sometimes I hide in my closet so I can talk on the phone without interruption.

6. I almost never make my bed and neither do my kids. Unless we’re changing the sheets or company is coming.

7. I often eat the kids’ holiday candy, and I feel absolutely no guilt or shame.

8. I hide food that I don’t want to share with my kids and eat it when they’re in bed.

9. When I don’t feel like making supper, I institute “Fend For Yourself” night, which means the kids can eat whatever they want.

10. I put the kids to bed way earlier than normal sometimes, just so I can have a breather.

11. I let Logan mix the Play-Doh together until it becomes an unsightly shade of gray.

12. If the girls’ clothes go through the laundry inside-out, I don’t fix them, I fold them up and leave them that way.

13. I never, ever iron.

14. I say, “Hang on, I’ll be right there,” when I’m in the middle of something, hoping that the kid who called me will forget what he/she wanted.

15. The best way to deal with leftovers that have piled up is to have “Refrigerator Regurgitation” night.

Your turn to share! What are your “dirty little secrets” for coping with the kids?

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19 Responses to “Guilty as Charged”

  1. Sandra says:

    Hello, My Name Is Sandra, and I’m Guilty As Charged 😀

    My kids LOVE #9 – so we have that a couple of times a week now… rockin’! And yup, I have a spare closet full of clothes that need ironed. I will never wear them. I need to sell them.

    But that, like your attic full of clothes, will probably never happen. LOL!

  2. Kathy says:

    LOL — Yep! Same here (for the most part) — but especially #7. I actually have limited storage space, so when my younger son outgrows his clothes, I box ’em up and take them to Salvation Army.

  3. Elizabeth Edwardsen says:

    On, I’ve done many of those things and don’t even feel guilty any more. There is no reason to share good chocolate with a child. Bed-making? What’s that?
    Same with ironing – my daughter visited my ex-MIL when she was 5 and asked her what her iron was. ooops.
    But here is one – I didn’t teach my daughter to tell time for years so I could occasionally put her to bed early and she’d be none the wiser.
    Another – I let my second-grader give “Fun Dip” Valentines – which I knew would horrify a certain earth mother element at school.
    – I not only eat her holiday candy, I deny it later.

  4. Christine says:

    Very funny!

  5. Elizabeth, your daughter didn’t know what an iron was? That’s hilarious! Definitely agree with you about the chocolate — why waste the good stuff on people who think it tastes the same as chocolate coins?

  6. Kate says:

    I loved reading this. It made my day because I do most of this stuff with my kids. Number one is a given at my house except for my son who is 3 1/2. He would rather be naked. I gave up on trying to keep him dressed at home.

  7. I do so, so many of these things! Thanks for sharing — this, I think, is the kind of parenting talk more of us need to hear!

    Jenny
    http://www.bloggingboutboys.blogspot.com

  8. From a mother who used to drag her kids to an ice-cream store for a meal she called “dinner”: Someday, Sarah Ludwig’s kids will realize how fortunate they are to have a mother who’s this much fun. This post is a riot.

  9. Aw, thanks, Ruth! What a nice thing to say. =)

  10. marthaandme says:

    My ironing board is behind a bunch of junk in the garage. I haven’t ironed in years! And we never ever make the beds either. I used to rely on Caillou on PBS to allow me to get work done when my son was home with me. And we have nights where everyone just has to find food on their own too.

  11. lisamann says:

    My mom used to have an ironing basket where we put clothes that needed to be ironed. Once a year, my grandmother visited and ironed everything in it. If the basket got full before my grandmother visited, my mom threw away everything in it. (I recently found that basket behind the water heater in my mom’s house. It still had my girl scout uniform in it. I guess somehere about then we caught on to not filling the basket). My mother’s daughter, I save a step by tossing any clothes that we accidently buy that require ironing right into the goodwill basket.

  12. pen4hire says:

    I had a friend once tell me that the only time HER mother mopped the floor was if she spilled a glass of water. I always held that up as my “At least I’m not that bad” standard. Otherwise, you are right on track for being a sane mother. Take it from this grandma.

    I also broke child labor laws by starting the kids out at age three with emptying small wastebaskets and graduating them to putting away all their own clothes (which I at least folded) when they were five.

    I’m not a morning person and by the time they were in5th grade, they were getting up and making their own breakfast and getting off to school without interference.

  13. Elizabeth Edwardsen says:

    I thought of a couple more:
    – I routinely lie to my daughter about what she’s eating. Even though she’s 12, when she asks about the pink lines running through her chicken meat or the bumps on the turkey skin, I say “those are just marks.” I may be missing an anatomy lesson opportunity, but it’s in the name of protein. She’ll figure it out soon enough.

    – When she was tiny, if I was tired and our bedtime routine demanded that I read a chapter or a book, I wasn’t above turning more than one page at a time. I swear, I only did that a few times. She caught me, and I had to stop.

    And yes, she really did have no idea what an iron was. But she could, I’m sure, identify much more interesting things.

  14. Alisa Bowman says:

    Thanks for making me feel normal and less guilty. While we are sharing: I only bathe my daughter once a week because that’s how often I can get up the strength to force her into the tub.

  15. I love this list! Here’s my addition: if we’re out of the house until bedtime, everyone may sleep in their clothes. (My older ones get themselves into pj’s anyway, but my little ones are asleep in party dresses tonight!)

  16. Love this list…It’s called being a mom!

  17. minnemom says:

    Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

    Tomorrow I will have finished off the box of Lucky Charms single-handedly. Hey! All they do is eat the marshmallows!

    Thanks for a dose of reality in letting us know we’re not alone.

  18. Kelly Brown says:

    I really like your post. Does it copyright protected?

  19. Alicia Webster says:

    I am a fan on Facebook

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