I’ve written about my hatred of check-out lanes in the past, but now I’ve found yet one more reason to despise them:
The magazine headlines.
I have to admit that I’m not a particularly observant person. I notice people, but I don’t pay any attention to what they’re wearing. I notice my general environment, but usually not the details; the check-out lane, but almost never the magazines scattered on its shelves (although that’s probably because my kids are too busy distracting me by begging for the candy and miscellaneous toys).
Until the other day. As I waited in line, for some reason the blurbs on the cover of Cosmopolitan caught my eye, particularly this one:
Be A Lucky Bitch! These proven mind tricks get you what you want.
To be fair, this sort of grabby headline wouldn’t have bothered me a couple years ago. They’re everywhere, which is probably why I’ve learned to tune them out over the years.
But now I have tween daughters, both of whom have been full of questions lately regarding puberty, growing up, sex, dating and all the stuff that girls approaching their teen years begin to think about.
So for whatever reason, on this particular day, at this particular store, in this particular check-out lane, I saw the blaring words on Cosmo through their eyes rather than my own jaded ones and I felt shocked.
About five seconds later, I saw the blurb through a-mom-of-tweens’ eyes and I was appalled by the implications. I realize that in recent years the word “bitch” has become much more commonplace, but to me, it’s just plain derogatory. It’s one of the number one words that springs to mind when someone wants to insult a female. I certainly don’t want my daughters to think of themselves that way.
As if that weren’t bad enough, the “mind tricks” mentioned are simply manipulation. I’m all for ambition and drive and making the best of your life, but not at the expense of others. One of the last things I’m inclined to teach my daughters is how to manipulate people in order to get what they want. Do I want to raise loving, generous, kind-hearted girls or calculating, manipulative, selfish “bitches?”
Granted, the audience this magazine is geared toward is not the tween set; however, even these seemingly harmless phrases we see in big, bold letters in the check-out stand are sending young, impressionable girls a dangerous message, in my opinion. I’m not trying to be overly protective nor do I kid myself into thinking that my kids aren’t constantly surrounded by sexual messages, but I want my daughters to be independent and kind, self-reliant and thoughtful, giving and appreciative. I don’t want them finding their worth in their sexuality or in their ability to play “mind tricks” on people. And isn’t that what they’re ultimately going to pick up from reading things like this?
If only they made a cover for the cover so young kids wouldn’t have to be exposed to these small yet powerful words. They have enough to think about without adding the complexities of adulthood to the mix.
How do you feel about magazines with these types of headlines? Do you think they could inspire discussions between you and your kids?
I agree wholeheartedly. And yet since the magazine headlines and photos aren’t going to disappear, probably the best thing we can do is use them as jumping off points to discussion.
Did your daughters’ notice the headlines? The scary thing is, even if they did, and even if you brought it up for discussion, you’d likely hear something like, “It’s no big deal, Mom.”
Yep, just about every time I read a magazine or tabloid front page, I’m so glad my kids are too young to read! It’s ridiculous, too, that I can’t even go and get groceries with my kids without having them exposed to stuff I’d rather them never see. Maybe I’ll speak to the manager next time I’m in the store….
No, my girls weren’t with me, thankfully. They would have pointed them out had they seen them, I’m sure.
You’re right in saying that we can at least make the headlines and pictures a sort of diving board from which to start discussions. I just resent having to have these discussions at all. It’s not that I want my kids to be sheltered or naive, I just wish our society were such that this stuff wasn’t even on our kids’ radar.
However, that’s another gripe for another day.
Kathy, if you speak to the manager, let me know how it goes! I’d love to get stores to move that stuff, but I highly doubt it’ll happen because it’s all about the big greens, you know.