Comments on: Helicopter Parenting — The Argument

By: Sarah E. Ludwig

Sarah E. Ludwig — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:09:05 +0000

Very interesting, Stephanie. It’s cool to hear from a teenager’s perspective. My mom was the opposite of a helicopter parent, so I wouldn’t begin to understand what it feels like to be parented that way.

I’m definitely going to check out your website.

By: Stephanie Spector

Stephanie Spector — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:09:49 +0000

Speaking from a teenager’s point of view, I think helicopter parenting and over-parenting can pretty much be grouped into the same definition. My mom is more like a best friend to me, and it has both perks and downsides. She stays involved in my life without completely controlling it which is great. However, there are times when she’ll press her opinions on me and I won’t like it, at which point we’ll both get agitated because we take it personally. I think being “friends” with your child is really harder for the parent, especially when it comes to letting them go…

I write for a blog called Radical Parenting – it’s a site on parenting from a kid’s perspective. One of our articles called “10 Qualities of Teacup Parenting” might offer a little more insight on the topic, skim through it if you’d like! Thanks

http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/06/19/10-qualities-of-teacup-parenting-is-your-kid-too-fragile/

By: Sarah E. Ludwig

Sarah E. Ludwig — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:32:05 +0000

Michelle, you are so wise! Clearly we’re on the same page with our parenting philosophies.

I was just recently divorced, so I confess to being more child-centric lately, but I agree with you 100% about fostering other relationships first, particularly marriage. I think if a couple has a good marriage, the kids’ happiness will typically follow.

Thanks for your nice comments! I’m going to go check out your blog.

By: Sarah E. Ludwig

Sarah E. Ludwig — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:28:19 +0000

I completely agree with you, certifieddad. As tempting as it can be to want to be the good guy and be your kid’s buddy, it doesn’t do them any good. As I said in yesterday’s post, the second I stop being my kids’ mom and start being their friend, I’ve lost all my authority.

By: Michelle Wilbert

Michelle Wilbert — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 02:50:09 +0000

I’ve been writing on this topic for a long while on my blog; I’m very pleased to see someone else doing the same! Very well done and enjoyable to read through. I have homeschooled all four of my children and three are now young adults. My basic “parenting” premise rests on the idea that children do best given ample time, freedom, privacy and trust and as parents, we serve them best by trusting ourselves and remembering that we are to be parents, not buddies and not life coaches, not therapists, not tour guides…parents’. As a Midwife for many years, I always taught my young parents to take care of their marriages and friendships and let the kids be kids! None who took my advice have expressed regret; many who didn’t have come back for more input! Nice job; I’ll be back.

By: certifieddad

certifieddad — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:08:40 +0000

I worry about parents that say they are best friends with their child. Can’t they just be parents and get their own friends?