The Evolution of a Natural Birthing, Attachment Parenting, Homeschooling Mom
When I was pregnant with my first child, I assumed he’d sleep in a crib. After all, that’s where babies sleep, right?
At that time, I’d never heard of co-sleeping, slings or attachment parenting. Dr. Brazelton was barely on my radar, much less Dr. Sears. I’m assuming I planned to breastfeed – since I never stocked up on formula – but I wasn’t particularly passionate about it either way. As for labor and birth, I don’t think I gave them much thought either. I took the series of childbirth classes at our local hospital and read What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but that’s about it.
Then my son was born, and everything changed.
After an uncomfortable and slightly scary birth that ended with the doctor dragging my son out with forceps, I wondered whether or not my epidural might have been a factor. I’d heard that epidurals are related to an increased risk of instrumental delivery. Was there a link? And what if I had never agreed to let the doctor break my water in the first place? After all, that’s what made me insist on the epidural.
I read. I learned. (One of my favorite books was The Birth Book, by Dr. Sears.) For my next birth, I chose a certified nurse midwife and opted for IV pain relief and water immersion instead of an epidural. By birth #3, I’d opted out of the hospital all together; boys # 3 and 4 were born without the aid of pain medication at the first out-of-hospital birthing center in the state of Wisconsin.
I’m not saying my choices are right for everyone, just that my choices were right for me. Through trial and error, I learned what worked best for me.
And so it’s gone, through 11+ years of parenting. When I realized that my newborn son slept better beside me, he slept beside me. When not nursing during a painful bout of mastitis was far more painful than continue to nurse, I kept nursing, eventually discovering the joy of breastfeeding. For me, it was the easiest way. No bottles, no formula, no mess.
It felt natural for me to hold my son frequently and often, to respond to his cries. Later I would learn that this high-touch style of parenting (especially when coupled with breastfeeding and babywearing) is called attachment parenting.
As for homeschooling, it’s more of the same. School just didn’t work for my son. He’s always been a highly motivated, highly individualized leader who learns best by following his own light. After watching his love of learning dwindle – and seeing him grow to hate school (by age 5!) – we knew it was time to make a change. We worked with the school for a while, but eventually decided to homeschool.
It worked! And so here I am, 11+ years after becoming a parent: a natural birthing, attachment parenting, homeschooling mom. My brother calls me a hippie, but that’s OK with me. Parenting is a system of trial and error, and as every parent knows, what works one day may not work the next. But for now, this works for me.
Jennifer Fink is a freelance writer and homeschooler and blogs about raising, educating and learning with her four boys at Blogging ‘Bout Boys.
[...] by Trial and Error.” A recent post was guest-written, and was entitled, “The Evolution of a Natural Birthing, Attachment Parenting, Homeschooling Mom.” The story sounds quite familiar — she started her first pregnancy with no particular [...]
I wouldn’t have made it home from the hospital if it weren’t for Dr. Sears and his family’s guidance, encouragement and wisdom. I am glad that you shared this.