Yesterday I was struck hard by baby fever once again. I wrote about my last major case in December of last year. This one was much, much worse, probably due to the fact that I actually got to hold the baby rather than simply looking at one on TV.
My kids have a new baby cousin, Luke, and we finally got to see him for the first time yesterday. He’s three weeks old now and the most precious little guy. I got to hold him for quite awhile (not as long as I would have liked, of course) and it was pure bliss cuddling that tiny little body, listening to his adorable baby noises, inhaling the sweet, new-baby scent of him and watching his hands and face move as he slept.
But holding Baby Luke left a distinct longing in my soul and I found myself envying his mom, even though she was sleep-deprived and basically playing the role of milk machine/chew toy. That amount of time when your child is an infant and you meet her needs in a fog of sleep-deprivation and happiness occasionally bordering on hysteria just blurs by, especially when you have more than one to take care of, as I always have.
Maybe that’s why I feel the impact of baby fever so strongly; since I’ve always had more than one child, I never got that uninterrupted, blissful time with a first baby that most new moms enjoy. I experienced it to a degree with Cody because by that time, the girls were 4, but it’s not the same.
“You’ve had your turn,” I kept reminding myself as I reluctantly placed Luke back in his lucky mom’s arms. “You’ve had more turns than many people get.” The self-talk didn’t help one bit — the longing for a baby of my own hung on.
I don’t know how to stop my at-times-overwhelming desire for another baby. Even thinking about the fact that I would be, in effect, starting all over again doesn’t decrease the want.
So I guess my options are these:
* force my soon-to-be-delivering little sister to move in with me (or at least close-by) so I can get baby fixes whenever I want
* get a tiny indoor dog who will happily cuddle with me
* wait another 12-20 years to hog my grandchildren, assuming they live nearby, and meanwhile get my occasional baby fixes here and there
Sigh. I just don’t think my sister is going to agree…
Ever get baby fever? Are you sad that you’re finished having kids even though you don’t REALLY want any more? Share your baby fever experiences here!
Nice looking site you have – are you having fun with it? It’s interesting and well worth the time to visit.
My neighbor recently had twins & a part of me delighted in the idea of being able to help balance the ratio of kids to caregivers down at #28… I have been there once! Not that I’m stingy with my time, it just isn’t the “draw” I expected it to be… I had by sixth child just after my 40th birthday with a large sense of “being done”. You just know when you’re done & it doesn’t nag at you anymore, no baby “fever”, you just enjoy them & return to your life with contentment. It’s not that I’m revelling in not carrying a diaper bag for the first time in 15 years, I’m truly enjoying my children at all their stages, babyhood is so brief & then there is this child – forever to enjoy!
I truly know I’m “done” b/c I’m not having that baby fever anymore. After #3, I just knew I wasn’t done. I wanted to do it again. I saw women with pregnant bellies and new babies and I was jealous. I wanted to be them. Now, I see them and note it — as in, “Huh.” — and I share their excitement, but I don’t want it to be me anymore.
Of course, if a new baby dropped in at my doorstep, that would be a whole ‘nother thing!
Good luck — b/c I know these aren’t easy longings.
Jenny
Oh dear, does this mean that I’m not “done?” At least emotionally? I figured this was a common feeling, but evidently not as common as I thought…
I have 4 kids (13 to 3.5) and I am suffering from severe baby fever. I’m done because I would be 43 (and my husband would be 48) when I gave birth if I got pregnant tomorrow. I don’t think the fever will go away until I hit menopause.
I don’t have a baby sister but I am getting a dog when my 13 year old gets home from camp and I can’t wait for my grandchildren.
I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one, Beth!
And congrats on the new dog. What kind are you getting? I want a really small one who will cuddle with me.
We all want a rescue dog but my husband and son want a big boy dog and the girls and I want a medium sized girl dog. It will be interesting to see what we end up with!
It definitely will! Keep me posted!