The meeting minutes from our school board’s last session included a bit about how Junior Kindergarten will not be in existence this year. I have to admit, I felt a bit guilty when I read this as it was my decision to send Logan to Kindergarten that caused the whole thing to disintegrate. The superintendent told me when I was considering what to do this spring that if Logan went to JK, there would be 3 kids, which was enough to proceed. I figured Logan would be the determining factor, but I was hoping that maybe another kid or two would turn up.

Part of my guilt stems from the fact that the Preschool/Junior Kindergarten teacher is a friend of mine and I know my decision caused her hours, and therefore her salary, to be cut quite a bit. Adding to that guilt was the phone call I received from the Kindergarten teacher yesterday about Logan’s first day. I asked her how many kids are in the class this year and she said 23, a few more than she was expecting. Evidently the kids who were going to be in Junior Kindergarten signed up for Kindergarten instead.

For some odd reason, I figured they’d just go back to preschool. Evidently I had also been secretly hoping (I say secretly because I didn’t even realize this until now) that the Junior Kindergarten would stay in operation in case I…er, I mean Logan…needed it.

You see, the closer we get to the start of school (August 25), the more I’ve been second-guessing my decision to send Logan to Kindergarten rather than JK. It has nothing to do with his intellectual ability or even his perceived lacking social skills, but it has everything to do with the fact that I’m not ready for him to go to school full-time.

It’s very upsetting to me when I think about the fact that all those hours I had alone with Logan are now over. It’s also quite shocking because a few years ago, it seemed a lifetime away until all my kids were in school all the time and I’d be able to write just about full-time myself. I looked forward eagerly to this exciting change in my life, but now that I’m almost there, I’m more sad and depressed than excited.

I know that putting Logan in JK at this point would only be for my benefit —just a little more time to savor with him — and that’s not good parenting (not that it’s even an option anymore). He would be horrendously bored if I forced him to do preschool yet again (JK consisted of preschool in the morning and kindergarten in the afternoon). Also, he’s such a bright little thing, there’s no way I want to hold him back from all the learning he’s so anxious to do.

Just the other night we were watching a movie and eating popcorn. Logan, typically bored with the movie, decided to start counting out popcorn kernels instead. Before long he pointed to two piles and said, “Mom, look! 2 and 3 make 5!” A few minutes later, he pointed again at three piles of two kernels each and said, “And 2 and 2 and 2 make 6!”

Now I’m no great mathemetician myself (that may be the understatement of the century), but I think these calculations are pretty darn good for a 5-1/2 year old.

In fact, I think Kindergarten better watch out for Logan.

Meanwhile, you’ll find me at home on the first day of school sobbing into Logan’s blankie as my heart breaks just a little bit.

<<sniff>>

Has your youngest started full-time school yet? If so, how did you deal with it? If not, how do you think you will feel?

Tags: children, family, family issues, junior kindergarten, kids, kindergarten, mom, parenting, school