The following is an excerpt from a new book by Scott Haltzman, M.D., with Theresa Foy Digeronimo, entitled The Secrets of Happy Families: Eight Keys to Building a Lifetime of Connection and Contentment. The two are also the authors of the highly successful The Secrets of Happily Married Men and The Secrets of Happily Married Women. Dr. Haltzman is clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Alpert Medical School of Brown University and editor of DrScott.com.
Read on to find out how to enter to win your own copy of The Secrets of Happy Families!
Earning Respect
It’s only natural that as individuals spend more time together, they will find things that irritate, annoy, or otherwise rub them the wrong way. That’s when the desire to act respectfully gets put to the test. Take this case as an example. One woman I see in my office had only recently recovered from a nearly deadly bout of pneumonia, so she promised her husband that she’d never smoke again. About a month after leaving the hospital, however, she began to go out during work breaks to sneak a puff or two on a cigarette with her friends. When her husband found out, he went ballistic! Did she still deserve respect after putting her life and the welfare of the family at risk again? It’s easy to see how he felt betrayed and how she probably felt belittled by his angry reaction.
Children, likewise, should be granted respect, but when a seventeen-year-old forgets to put gas in the family car, leaves the car stranded on the roadside when it inevitably runs dry and then takes off in a friend’s car to enjoy the rest of the night out, how are we able to demonstrate respect to this teen? When these conflicts arise, they threaten the foundation of a family — unless the underlying layer of respect can withstand the hit. And respect does not mean blanket acceptance of intolerable behavior. Respect doesn’t mean you have to like all aspects of any family member’s behavior. But respect does mean that you always treat all family members with dignity and seek a way to understand the world through their eyes.
So how should the husband of the woman who continued to smoke after he pneumonia express his anger and disappointment while still respecting his wife? How can parents let their teen know that irresponsible use of the family car is unacceptable, without showing disrespect for him as a human being? It’s not easy when the first thought that comes to mind sounds something like How can you be so stupid! But if the members of these families want to survive the argument and keep the core of the family strong, they’ll take a deep breath and remember to avoid the hostile responses found in the next Fair Fight Fact.
Want your very own copy of Secrets of Happy Families? Here’s how to enter for a chance to win one of these easy-to-read, engaging books:
TO ENTER:
♣ Leave a comment. That’s it! Limit one comment per person, per day.
WAYS TO GET BONUS ENTRIES:
♣ Subscribe to my blog via RSS or email, then leave a comment letting me know.
♣ Tweet this giveaway and leave a comment with the link. (You can do this daily.) Optional phrasing for your Tweet: I’m entered to win a copy of The Secrets of Happy Families from @MomofTwinsPlus2. Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/ompg7v.
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Giveaway ends at 11:59 Central Standard Time, Tuesday, August 18, 2009. Open to residents of the U.S. and Canada only. The winner will be chosen using random.org. Winner will have 72 hours to respond to notification with shipping info. If no response, another winner will be chosen.
Good luck!
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Have you entered the giveaway for Green to Grow baby products? Take a second to leave a comment to win!
That’s a brilliant excerpt. Respect is definitely something we need to work on in my family. I *think* I do a pretty good job (of course I do, right?), but it’s something I’m constantly working on with the kids (who can’t understand why anyone, ever, would want to respect their brother.)
Count me in!
I blogged about your giveaway too — although I probably shouldn’t have. The fewer people that enter the contest, the better my odds of winning!
JK. ‘Cause I Tweeted it too.
Hi, What an interesting and helpful book! Sounds like a
book for every family. It would also make a great wedding
gift. Many thanks, Cindi
I am an email subscriber to your site.
Thanks, Cindi
I follow you on Twitter!
“Tweet!”
http://twitter.com/cmh512/status/3259236332.
Thanks again…..Cindi
Also, I follow your blog on Networked Blogs!
Thanks, Cindi
I became your fan on Facebook!
Thanks so much…..Cindi
You are favored on my Technorati Page!
Thanks, Cindi
windycindy
Great excerpt. I hope I win so I can read the rest of the book.
Great giveaway. I’d really like to win.
Tweet. http://twitter.com/Facetwit17/status/3266996514
oooooooohhh, just getting into the teen years with our oldest of 4 boys. Can use all the help I can get!
im interested.
Great giveaway.
“Tweet!”
http://twitter.com/cmh512/status/3277805890.
Thank you…..Cindi
I’d like to win!
Tweet http://twitter.com/Facetwit17/status/3286258388
Great giveaway ~ Thanks!
Became a fan
“Tweet!”
http://twitter.com/cmh512/status/3312043250.
Thanks, Cindi
Today’s entry – I’d like to win.
Tweet http://twitter.com/Facetwit17/status/3319832419
I want to win.
“Tweet!”
http://twitter.com/cmh512/status/3323340561.
Thanks very much…..Cindi
Sounds like a good book. Thanks for doing the giveaway!
This sounds like a great book. The concept is so simple yet so difficult to achieve.
bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
I just subscribed via email.
bgcchs(at)yahoo(dot)com
Sounds like a good book. Thanks for doing the giveaway!; Sounds like a good book. Thanks for doing the giveaway!;;
To be honest, I am not very good at this whole family thing. I have a wonderful husband and three great kids, but it seems that I always seem to be doing the wrong thing. I could really use some pointers on how to make my family happier.
I subscribe
I follow your blog on Networked Blogs
helpful book
Nice contest.Please enter my name.
Enter me, please. thanks
I’d like to win. Thanks!
Tweeted: http://twitter.com/Facetwit17/status/3349030105
love to win this
Today’s entry. GLTA!
helpful book!!!
This sounds like a great book to read over and over. I’m sure there are excerpts that I would find appilicable for years to come.
Would love to win this, thanks for the chance!
Today’s entry
This would be nice to have.
I’d like to win!
Happy Monday!
enter me
I would enjoy reading this book.
I’d love to have this.
a brilliant excerpt..
Great book idea. Thanks