Sometimes people ask me how I do everything.
Ha! As if I do everything.
I’m so incredibly far from being on top of it all, which anyone who knows me in real life would completely and totally vouch for.
Case in point:
My floor is vacuumed, but my dishwasher is full of clean dishes while my sink is full of dirty ones.
My office is fairly clean, but my bedroom looks like a bomb went off.
My front yard is mowed, but only half the back yard is. Don’t even mention the sides of the driveway.
The other day, Cody went out the door with a completely mismatched shirt and shorts and I didn’t notice until several hours later.
I often get involved in something and have no trouble sucking up several hours before I realize how much time I’ve just invested or, worse, wasted.
More often than not, my laundry pile is overflowing.
My kids sometimes have to remind me that it’s meal time because I’ve gotten so caught up in what I’m doing.
I always have a huge to-do list and am lucky to get just a few things on it completed by the day’s end.
I can, and do, beat myself up about not getting everything accomplished, and, truth be told, I could do many things better, but why spend all my time feeling guilty?
Here’s how I see it: Life is hard. It’s full of pain and sorrow and loss. So one of my biggest philosophies is to enjoy it as much as possible. That means not getting overly stressed-out about things that don’t matter in the big picture. So what if I don’t do the dishes until the morning, when the kids get on the bus to go to school? Night time is my productive writing time and I’m going to take advantage of that. It’s not how my mom would do it, or how most other people I know would do it, but it works for me. I waste enough time feeling guilty without picking up extra reasons.
Being flexible as a parent also means being flexible with yourself. It’s impossible to be on top of everything, all the time, and if you are, your relationships are definitely suffering. Do what works for you and your family. The goal here is to raise happy, healthy, responsible, mature, honest, contributing adults, right? Make that happen however you need to.
Most importantly, don’t beat yourself up if your house isn’t sparkling and your laundry is about ready to crawl to the washer by itself. I think Erma Bombeck said it best when (to paraphrase) she said that she’d rather have a messy house and good memories with her kids than to keep it spotless and spend all her time worrying about keeping it that way.
What are some of the ways in which you, too, are NOT Super Mom? Come on, ‘fess up!
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Um, you mean, like the fact that I spend entirely too much time at the computer? Evidence? A couple of months ago, my young son woke up in the middle of the night for some reason, and I didn’t hear him until he was crying come down the stairs from not finding me at the computer. I am *not* a night owl like you, so I have never been at the computer in the middle of the night, so I don’t really know why he would think I’d be there, instead of snuggly in my bed like I was… except that being at the computer is apparently my “default position.” Oh, and “just five more minutes” is a common refrain from me as I try to finish up something at the computer (reading blogs, writing blogs, typing up something, finding a recipe, etc.).
I’m exactly the same way, Kathy! I’m going to have to be more disciplined about this.
I’ve forgotten events and shown up for events on the wrong day — and I’m a pretty calendar savvy person! Sometimes, though, there’s just too much to remember and something gets lost.
I also have 2 big bags of clothes that have been sitting in the corner of my dining room for months. They’re hand-me-downs from my neighbor, but still need to be sorted out into sizes so they’re useful and accessible for my sons. Just haven’t gotten around to that one yet.
What a great reminder that nobody can do it all — but we all still try, don’t we?