New Years: A time of renewal, of starting over, of somehow making life better. At least that’s what we tell ourselves. God knows we all need a fresh start from time to time, the hope that we can be better people, better parents, better in our businesses, maybe even, gulp, happier than we’ve been in the past.
I’m a big fan of creating goals, renewing energy to make life changes for the better. The New Year is a perfect time to start over, make new plans, dream big professionally.
I don’t, however, think that making a list of unattainable and/or unrealistic goals is in any way helpful. That only serves to make us feel guilty, let down and dissatisfied. If you know you aren’t in an emotional place to lose that 25 lbs., don’t add it to the list. Simple, do-able goals that are achievable in small steps are the way to go.
So, with that in mind, here are my 2010 parenting goals:
- Spend more one-on-one time with my kids. This summer, I met an amazing 1st grade teacher in her early 20s. She was loving, kind, thoughtful and she spoke so fondly of her family, I ended up asking her all sorts of questions about her parents and how well they clearly raised her. One of her favorite memories of growing up was her parents’ nightly ritual of spending 10 minutes alone with either her or one of her two siblings. She said usually it involved just sitting on her mom or dad’s lap and being held, or sitting together on the couch and enjoying being together, maybe talking, but it gave her a feeling of security and well-being. They even did this into their teenage years. I vowed right then and there that I would do the same thing with my kids. Of course, I haven’t, which is inexcusable because this is an easy lifestyle change to make. Especially with four kids, one-on-one time is scarce, so making time for each of the kids personally is a must.
- Be consistent with discipline. This is one of the hardest parts of parenting for me, both because I’m often emotionally exhausted and because I tend to be very soft-hearted. I understand well why people say that kids are allowed to do whatever they want because their parents don’t really care about them. It’s much easier to let them run amok then it is to enforce boundaries, teach them and help them grow into responsible, caring, compassionate individuals. Those things take work. However, since I have a job to do here, there can be no slacking, even if I am feeling sorry for Logan as he’s in his room for a time-out wailing, “I’m so sorry, Mom! I’m sorry! I’ll never do it again!” Consequences have to be paid because that’s how life in the real world is.
- Cook healthy meals more often. (Even though this will most surely be met with resistance and multiple complaints.)
- Read together more. My mom used to read to my sisters and me, well beyond the time when we could read ourselves. I think she read us the entire Chronicles of Narnia. I also had a high school English teacher that read to her classes every day. There’s just something about listening to someone else read a compelling story that creates a bond.
What are your New Year’s parenting resolutions? Please share!
I remember that high school English teacher. There was this one book she read about a boy and a girl who befriend this nice old man who turns out to be a former SS guard at Auschwitz. What was the title of that?
Oh yeah! That was a weird one. Wasn’t it called Gentlehands or something? I know “hands” was in the title, anyhow. That was Mrs. Collins, BTW.