¤¤¤ Warning — if you are of the male persuasion, you may want to click elsewhere, unless you don’t mind reading about uteruses and their miraculous functions. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. ¤¤¤
Continuing the story of how my uterus turned against me:
So, I had the Mirena IUD in for less than a year and a half (it can stay in for 5 years) when complications began to occur several months ago. As they began to affect my life in obvious ways, I went in to see my ob-gyn once again last week.
I expected him to tell me the IUD had fallen out or something drastic was wrong because it was almost as if I’d never had it in. What had started as a light and easy monthly cycle with the Mirena had turned into heavy bleeding that appeared more often than not, and horrible cramping, sometimes stabbing, pain.
But no, the IUD is still there.
It just isn’t working anymore.
Basically, my adenomyosis has decided to take over the regularly scheduled programming and so I am now left with a decision.
Option one: Leave the IUD in and start on yet another regimen of birth control pills in the hopes that I can slow the disease down enough to buy more time before I have to have a hysterectomy.
Option two: Get the IUD out and just see what happens, which will mean a lesser quality of life, as well as increasing pain as I get older, but no side effects from medication, by golly! Eventually I’ll hit menopause, which will mean the end of my condition.
Option three: Have my uterus surgically removed, which will eliminate all of these bothersome and painful symptoms.
The choice seems obvious, doesn’t it? Yes, I know it does. Especially after writing it out and staring at it in black and white, it’s quite clear to me what I should choose. After all, do I really want to keep fighting this battle with my tired, diseased uterus? No, I don’t.
And yet.
And yet I hesitate.
Why?
I have four kids. I certainly don’t need any more.
However, it’s one thing to make a decision not to have any more kids, and a whole ‘nother thing to have that decision made for you. Maybe that’s where I have the problem.
I’ve lamented my struggles with baby fever here many times. I can’t help my love of kids. It isn’t logical. Not logical at all. I can’t afford more kids, I don’t even have a partner to have more kids with, my children are all in school full-time now and to start having more would practically mean starting a new little family, nor do I need any more than I already have. My hands are full. Completely and utterly full.
And yet.
Next: Why I’m reluctant to give the darn thing up.
I would be exactly the same. I *know I am not going to have any more children. My youngest is 13! But to finalize it…to put the nail in the coffin…I just can’t. We’ve discussed it a million times. I should get my tubes tied. Logically I know it would be best. And yet…I hesitate.
K…
How old are you? If you’re in your 30s, maybe you should wait. You say you don’t have a partner right now, but what if you meet one and decide you want to have a baby with him? If you’re in your 40s — eh, screw it.
Also, (says the Natural as Possible Mom) have you investigated any alternative treatments for this disease? Are there any? I’d exhaust all other options before undergoing a major surgery. Just my $.02.
.-= Karen Bannan from NaturalAsPossibleMom´s last blog ..My One Small Change =-.
Have you talked to your uterus about all this? You know, open dialogue and honesty can sometimes prevent nasty breakups like this. Sit her down, tell your uterus what you’re really feeling, and see what she has to say!
Seriously, what a tough situation to go through, Sarah. You may have seen the clear answer in the choices above, but I didn’t. There’s no perfect answer; just do what’s healthiest for you and your family. And keep us posted.
I’m with Ron. I didn’t see the clear choice at all! (Thanks, Ron, for saying it first.) I learned a lot from this post and I’m guessing as you continuing to write about this, you’ll know exactly what you’re meant to do and it will feel—right.
.-= Meredith Resnick´s last blog ..The Recovering Creative Returns =-.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, Sarah. I can’t wait to read part 3. I have a feeling I feel the same way about my breasts as you do about your uterus… (Now there’s a sentence I never imagined writing!)
Thanks so much for your input, Karen. Alas, I don’t know if there are any alternative treatments for adenomyosis, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt to do some research.
Fortunately, the surgery wouldn’t be major as they won’t need to cut me open at all, barring some horrible complication. That’s at least a comfort for someone who has never had anything beyond some stitches before.
I’m so glad I’m understood on this. Thanks for the commiseration, Karma. (And thanks again for your delightful books that you were kind enough to send me to give away!)
So good to hear from a male perspective, especially such a humorous one as yourself, Ron. If only I could prevent the nasty breakup that seems to be coming…
There is no “perfect” answer, of that you’re right. Logically though, there does seem to me to be an obvious answer. Unfortunately, this isn’t about logic, though maybe it should be!
I hope you’re right, Meredith, though having written the last of the trio on My Uterus, I’m no closer to a decision. Perhaps it’ll take some more writing of my own. Or time and grieving. Or both. It’ll all be fine, in any case. =)
Jenny, you are too funny! Thanks for the laugh, which was much-needed after slogging through all this uterus mess. =)