My mom learned from her mom that kids should learn not to touch breakable objects. Parents should leave everything within a curious toddler’s reach so that he can be taught that touching these things is a no-no. This is how she raised me and my sisters, ostensibly with good results. I presume that we were well-behaved at other people’s houses and didn’t touch their valuables.
I started out with the same method, but then quickly realized that I was only making life harder for both myself and my poor twin daughters. They were curious and wanted to touch everything. When they first started walking, they understood the meaning of “no,” but they didn’t understand why. A one-year-old just doesn’t get why her playing with a “pretty” may result in breakage and upset feelings. With two of them, I was outnumbered anyway and before long, I felt like all I was saying to them was “no.”
That was when I decided that I would put anything I didn’t want broken up and out of reach of tiny little hands, until such time as they understood what “fragile” and “break” meant. This worked out well for us and I’m glad I did it that way because, frankly, I didn’t want my nice possessions broken in an effort to teach my toddlers not to touch them, nor did I want to be constantly hovering over them, waiting to correct a misguided touch. At other people’s houses, I watched them carefully to make sure that they didn’t handle anything they shouldn’t.
When they got older, they understood quite well what they could and couldn’t touch, and why. It was much easier to teach them later when they understood the logistics, i.e., breaking something caused an upset mother. I, in turn, didn’t lose anything I valued and was able to do other tasks without worrying that my toddlers were damaging anything. My motto — “If you don’t want it broken or damaged, put it away.”
This method might not be a desirable one for some parents and I’m certainly not saying it’s the only right one; it’s just what worked best for us. Part of this whole parenting journey is figuring out what suits our personalities and those of our children’s the best. Sometimes that might not be what others label as the “right” way, but in the end, we have to do what we feel is good for our kids and forget about what other people think.
How did you handle your toddlers and breakables? If you haven’t reached that stage yet, how do you plan to approach it?
I completely agree. We did the same thing. As a wise neighbor and mom to three grown children advised me, “let the kids ‘live’ in the house, and you’ll enjoy both of them more.” Kids are kids, so why fight it, right? The “pretty things” can come back down from their high shelves and we won’t have missed them nearly as much as we’ll miss our kids when they are grown and out of the house.