I’ve talked before about how closely I monitor my kids’ media influences. I think it’s extremely important to know what’s going into their impressionable little brains. Kids should be kids, not miniature adults. There is plenty of time left for that. You know, most of their lives.
The monitoring and filtering is annoying, but there’s so much I don’t want them to have to deal with yet, it’s worth the hassle. I have passwords set up on the internet and on our Dish Network system and I put music on their mp3 players for them. Basically, they can’t get onto a website unless I approve it, receive or send email to anyone without me okaying the address or watch anything that isn’t rated PG or G without me unlocking it. No one has a TV in their room and the family computers are in the upstairs hallway in plain view.
I’m sure there are those who think I go overboard, but truthfully, I wish more parents would pay attention to what their kids are watching and listening to. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to not want to have to explain what some crude sexual innuendo is when that sort of thing shouldn’t even be on their radar yet. Kids have enough stresses in their lives without being forced to try to understand and deal with things that are way above their maturity level. I also don’t want my children to grow up thinking that sleeping around, doing drugs and drinking are normal behaviors.
Once in awhile, I sit down with my girls and we watch a movie I like that’s rated PG-13. More often than not, I find myself cringing at all the crudity, sexuality and vulgarity that I don’t even notice anymore when I watch by myself. The good thing about watching it with them though is that I can explain to them what our family’s value system is in regard to different situations.
I do realize that they are exposed to a lot of the things I try so hard to shield them from at school and on the bus with kids who are allowed to ingest anything they feel like. That really can’t be helped unless I want to homeschool them. Besides, as much as I want to shelter them, I don’t want to overdo it either because they have to learn to think for themselves and make their own decisions. I just don’t feel they’re old enough to make those sorts of choices for themselves yet.
I think the key to monitoring kids’ media usage is to take the time to be aware of what they’re watching, listening to and surfing, as well as to be honest with them when they ask questions and keep communication open. I’ve told my kids why I’m so strict with what they see and hear and I encourage them to talk to me about anything unfamiliar. As far as I know, they don’t have any problems with my strictness because they know that if I didn’t care about them, I wouldn’t bother. For now, this works, and I’m happy with the protective bubble I’ve created for them so they can just be kids.
Because as much as I hate to admit that my mom was right, the old saying “Garbage in, garbage out,” really does have a lot of truth to it.
Hey Sarah,
I would have to agree with you on this. Although my husband doesn’t so much care at all as much as I do. He watches some interesting shows when the kids are in the room and it doesn’t really bother him, but if I’m in the room I complain about it and he often times changes it.
I don’t think homeschooling is the way to go though. You can’t keep them from the outside world forever and eventually I believe some not all of those homeschool kids will rebel and I know of one situation personally that didn’t go well. The boy was one of nine children and the oldest and they are all homeschooled. They sent him to Sunshine Bible for high school where he got kicked out for having alcohol in his room and he’s been in trouble for other similar things since then. I know him and think he’s a nice kid. But his parent’s are just a little off. I used to work for his dad and they act like they are so christian and perfect but I know his dad is not that great (he let me go from my job when I was 6 months pregnant with Braxton for no good reason at all). I’m thankful for it now though because I was so bored there anyway and I’m a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. He (my old boss) would have the christian radio station going every morning when I got to work and I did actually like listening to it. But it took me like 3 years after being canned that I could actually listen to that station in my own car without thinking of him and how mad I still was at him.
Anyway, I’ve rambled on about that long enough.
New blog story idea for you. How to get your husband to not swear around your children without being a nag. I get sooo sick of him swearing and I do it to but not nearly like him. It’s just part of his vocabulary when he’s not at work. I always say to him, if you can not cuse around your customers at work you would think you could do the same at home especially when the children are around.
Keep up the good fight! You won’t have to look back and wish you had done the monitoring. In the end, they all grow up and make their own decisions. By doing what you feel is right now, you’ll feel good that you taught them what you wanted them to know. Their decisions and actions will be theirs.
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