As my regular readers and close family and friends know, I love kids.  However, having a 2-year-old and an 8-month old who is crawling added to the mix is enough to make even the most child-loving person want to run immediately to the nearest birth control center and make permanent the inability to have more.

So far, I have bunkered in my office, informing the girls that I’m working and that I’ll help them if absolutely necessary, but they’re on their own. It’s good practice for them and I feel they need to earn their money honestly anyhow. I walked out once to have my nose assaulted by the smell of a wretchedly stinky diaper. Rachel, who has a cold and is in charge of the 2-year-old, couldn’t smell it; I couldn’t get away from the stench no matter where I went. I was, once again, reminded how nice it is to have children who are all in control of their own bathroom-related functions.

Logan has already been in a fight with the 2-year-old too, who didn’t understand that my boys were trying to build a fort out of blankets and ran underneath of them, knocking them all down. Younger children can bring out the worst in my youngest child, who resorts to meltdowns in order to express his frustration and anger.

The good news about this baby-sitting gig, for me, at least, is that I’m absolutely convinced that I don’t need any more children, no matter how often or hard baby fever seems to strike me. We’re in this whole new phase of life, where my kids are all in school full-time, no one wears diapers, I can go to the store by myself and shop in peace (that once seemed like a fantasy that would never actually play out), they don’t have to be monitored 24/7 and, maybe best of all, we can have really cool conversations. I rather like this stage.

Not to mention that it never hurts to give young girls a taste of what being a mother is really like.

♦      ♦     ♦     ♦     ♦     ♦     ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦      ♦

Have you signed up for my LeapFrog Zippity Learning System giveaway? Leave a comment to enter! Limit one comment, per person, per day.

My kids have a new baby cousin, Luke, and we finally got to see him for the first time yesterday. He’s three weeks old now and the most precious little guy. I got to hold him for quite awhile (not as long as I would have liked, of course) and it was pure bliss cuddling that tiny little body, listening to his adorable baby noises, inhaling the sweet, new-baby scent of him and watching his hands and face move as he slept.

But holding Baby Luke left a distinct longing in my soul and I found myself envying his mom, even though she was sleep-deprived and basically playing the role of milk machine/chew toy. That amount of time when your child is an infant and you meet her needs in a fog of sleep-deprivation and happiness occasionally bordering on hysteria just blurs by, especially when you have more than one to take care of, as I always have.

Maybe that’s why I feel the impact of baby fever so strongly; since I’ve always had more than one child, I never got that uninterrupted, blissful time with a first baby that most new moms enjoy. I experienced it to a degree with Cody because by that time, the girls were 4, but it’s not the same.

“You’ve had your turn,” I kept reminding myself as I reluctantly placed Luke back in his lucky mom’s arms. “You’ve had more turns than many people get.” The self-talk didn’t help one bit — the longing for a baby of my own hung on.

I don’t know how to stop my at-times-overwhelming desire for another baby. Even thinking about the fact that I would be, in effect, starting all over again doesn’t decrease the want.

So I guess my options are these:

* force my soon-to-be-delivering little sister to move in with me (or at least close-by) so I can get baby fixes whenever I want
* get a tiny indoor dog who will happily cuddle with me
* wait another 12-20 years to hog my grandchildren, assuming they live nearby, and meanwhile get my occasional baby fixes here and there

Sigh. I just don’t think my sister is going to agree…

Ever get baby fever? Are you sad that you’re finished having kids even though you don’t REALLY want any more? Share your baby fever experiences here!