Parenting By Trial and Error » games

Reader advice needed: Sore-loser son

Sarah E. Ludwig — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:03:54 +0000

I received the following question from reader MCmomof3:

Does anyone have any advice for how to handle our sore-loser son? I keep thinking he’ll grow out of it, but this kid cannot handle losing or even getting behind. He comes from two go-getter parents who don’t give up until they’re beaten, so this is very foreign to me. John is the youngest of three kids. He’s our most emotional child, yet he also makes us laugh the most.

Recently, we took him to a high school basketball game and our team was down my 7 points in the first quarter. John started talking about going home because we were going to lose. “John, it’s way early in the game, anything can happen, don’t give up so easy,” were the kinds of things we said. Our team ended up winning by about 5 points and it was an exciting game. I knew that was a good lesson for John, but I still don’t see any long term signs of changing.

When we play board games and he gets behind, it’s the same thing. He wants to quit. He’s played Stratego with his siblings about ten times and lost every time. I guess that says something for his ability to keep trying, but I sometimes feel like he’s setting himself up for disaster. I’ve reminded him that that game is for ages ten and up and maybe he’s just not ready. So, is poor sportsmanship and a negative outlook part of growing up or something that should be addressed if it continues? I have not yet sought advice about this matter as the husband doesn’t consider it a “matter” at all.

Thanks!

MCmomof3

Dear MCmomof3,

I have a sore-loser son myself, so I know where you’re coming from. It’s very frustrating to watch him get so upset about losing that no one wants to play games with him as a result. I remind him every time that games are supposed to be fun and that he will win eventually, as well as point out that no one wants to play with him because he acts like that. I’ve even demonstrated to him what he sounds like, which usually elicits a sheepish smile. He has gotten better as he gets older, so I think the main key to curing poor sportsmanship is time.

It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to encourage him not to quit or be a sore loser. As long as you’re consistently giving him that message, I think he will come around as he gets older. Eventually kids figure out that not only do their siblings not want to play with them, but none of their friends do either, when they act like that.

What do you think? Do you have advice for MCmomof3?

The Leapster 2 rocks!

Sarah E. Ludwig — Sat, 16 May 2009 03:01:55 +0000

I don’t make a habit of promoting products, but if I really like something, I’ll be the first to recommend it to anyone and everyone.

The Leapster 2 is, in my opinion, totally worth recommending. Made by LeapFrog, it’s essentially an educational hand held game console that runs game cartridges, purchased separately. The games can run anywhere from $9 (on clearance) up to $25, so when people ask me what the boys might want for their birthdays or Christmas, I often suggest a Leapster game.

They each got one of the original Leapsters for Christmas a couple years ago and they used those suckers until they were dead. Needless to say, we felt the new model would be the perfect gift for them this past Christmas — the Leapster 2. Not only would the boys get better, newer systems, all the games from their old Leapsters would work with the new ones. That’s a feature I really appreciate since so many toy companies come out with newer versions of electronic toys that won’t use accessories from the previous model, thereby costing the consumer far more than he/she may have been intending to spend (which is the point).

The games are fun, interactive and very educational. Titles include favorite characters like Cars, Ratoutille, Diego, Dora and SpongeBob SquarePants, to name a few. They teach concepts such as math, word identification, reading, counting, spelling and a variety of other specialized skills I never would have even thought about.

Best of all, I don’t feel guilty when the boys play them like I do when they play regular video games. The Leapsters are not addictive enough to trigger Cody’s obsessive tendencies, like the GameBoy did, yet they’re extremely engaging. The boys eagerly look forward to bedtime on weekends, when they’re allowed to play their Leapsters to their hearts’ content.

Do you have a favorite toy for your kids or grandkids that you highly recommend? Why is it so great?

We're ready for my Annual Game Addicts Summer Marathon!

Sarah E. Ludwig — Wed, 13 May 2009 23:02:26 +0000

I grew up in a family of board game lovers. I remember going to my grandparents’ house where the adults would all play what seemed like endless games of Yahtzee. The sound of dice clunking around in a plastic cup will forever remind me of my paternal grandmother, who died from lymphoma when I was just 9.

My 97-year-old grandmother is the biggest game nut I’ve ever known. She loves crosswords, word searches and board games of all kinds, and has a peculiar fondness for Scrabble. She is still very cognitively sharp, an attribute that I chalk up mostly to her constant need to keep her mind busy.

A die-hard competitor, my mother is in it for the win, whether you’re 5 or 97. If I won a game against my mom as a kid, I knew that I honestly beat her because she did not let anyone win purposely. (Also, she was visibly upset if she lost, right, Mom?) Man, was that a good feeling when I occasionally came away with the higher score.

It’s so nice to be past the Candyland era with the girls (call me a bad mom, but I despise Candyland and avoid it whenever possible). Though I’m not nearly as competitive as my mom, I’ve found myself treating my kids similarly concerning game playing. When they beat me, it’s fair and square. I just can’t throw a game for some reason.

It’s not that I care if I win, it’s mostly that I don’t want to give them a false sense of reality. Nobody wins everything in life. Plus there’s a heck of a lot more pride involved when you know you beat an adult because you played better than he or she did.

This past Christmas, my sister came up with a great idea for our sibling gift exchange — rather than getting every individual a gift, each of our families gave the other two a game. The one Rachel, Andie and I have played the most so far is called Carcassonne. It’s very, very addictive and it has multiple expansion sets for purchase, none of which we have. Yet.

We were going to tackle The Settlers of Catan, another gift with expansion sets, during Christmas break, but we got too caught up in Carcassonne. In fact, for about a week after the girls started school again, I eagerly awaited their arrival home so we could play again. I think they were actually beginning to be a bit annoyed.

A few other highly-recommended games we received for Christmas were Lost Cities, Blokus and Catan Card Game. We’re definitely set for my Annual Game Addicts Summer Marathon this year, which started when I was 12 and my sister was 10 and we kept a game of Monopoly going for an entire summer (or so it seemed).

What are some of your family’s favorite games?