Still, as frustrating as it can be to try to avoid naval-gazing via my blog as I try to get my new business going at the same time, it is excellent discipline to commit to blogging every day. For people like me, discipline does not come naturally, so any and all is good for me.

Tomorrow I will be featuring a cool giveaway, so stay tuned!

9:15 a.m.: The kids and I pulled out of the yard and headed to town.

10:00 a.m.: I left a nervous Andie and carefree boys at the Boys & Girls Club, equipped with all the cash I had left in my purse.

10:15 a.m.: Rachel and I arrived at the SPURS Therapeutic Riding Center, where we soaked up the gorgeous spring weather and beautiful surroundings as we waited for the staff to get there. The place was exactly her bag.

10:35 a.m.: After signing some papers and meeting Julie, the Volunteer Coordinator, I left SPURS feeling all kinds of excited for Rachel’s new venture.

10:45 a.m.: I arrived at the nutrition club and began work.

2:00 p.m.: Andie called to inform me that Logan was having a horrendous, embarrassing meltdown in the middle of The Boys & Girls Club, all due to the fact that the three of them had used all their money and had nothing left with which to purchase a snack. Logan, sleep deprivation and hunger are a lethal, ugly combination.

2:15 p.m.: I drove hurriedly to The Boys & Girls Club, digging for loose quarters in my van’s ashtray. All I could think was, Must. Get. Food. In. Logan.

2:25 p.m.: I walked into The B & G Club where Andie waited for me right by the counter. “That guy at the counter gave him 75 cents,” she muttered, pointing an inconspicuous thumb at a staff member.

2:30 p.m.: After reimbursing the guy at the counter, I gave Logan a mini-lecture as he shamefacedly offered me two half-melted Yogo-bites and a flock of kids leaned over the dividing wall to listen.

5:30 p.m.: Talking seriously with a customer at the nutrition club, I looked at the clock, only to see that I was supposed to be picking up all 4 kids at their various destinations at that moment. I excused myself and locked up quickly.

5:40 p.m.: I pulled into the B & G Club, where the kids were waiting with a staff member on the swings. Andie, nearly in tears at my tardiness (I had told her I’d be there around 5:00), got into the front seat and told me about how she didn’t make any friends. Logan’s face and hands sported mud and food, smeared all over his clothes and cheeks.

5:45 p.m.: We got to SPURS, where Rachel was waiting on the bench, looking sunburned and exhausted.

6:00 p.m.: We stopped at Subway to get some supper.

6:05 p.m.: Logan stood in the middle of Subway and began to wail, “But I don’t WANT water!”

6:06 p.m.: I had Rachel remove Logan from the premises as I paid for our meal.

6:10 p.m.: Arriving at the nutrition club, we got our food in and the kids ate their supper as I cleaned up.

7:01 p.m: We left the nutrition club, Logan dragging his feet the entire way.

7:06 p.m.: Rachel and Logan fell asleep in their seats and didn’t stir until we got home.

7:37 p.m.: Cody’s eyelids finally won the battle and he fell asleep too.

8:02 p.m.: Bathed and still exhausted, I kissed the boys good night and tucked them in.

9:34 p.m.: Andie and I finished tonight’s episode of American Idol, the season finale, and were thrilled when our favorite contestant won.

Needless to say, it was a very, very long day and I’m now at the tail end of it, trying to keep my eyelids open and my brain semi-functional as I write today’s blog post.

What’s your summer schedule like? Let’s hear a rundown of a typical day.

It’s such an overused expression, but time really does go by way too fast.

I remember being jealous of my friends whose kids were in school all day. I felt like that would never be me and I’d have little kids at home forever with no break in sight.

Now I go to the grocery store and see young moms with their broods in tow, looking harried and frazzled and I have to smile sympathetically. I remember feeling exactly the same way. Now instead of being one of those young moms with young kids, wishing I were shopping all by myself for once, I’m one of the moms of older kids, shopping while they’re all in school. Instead of trying to hurry as fast as I can to get through the checkout lane with the least amount of whining and begging, I’m frantically sending thoughts of, “Enjoy it while you can! It’ll be gone before you know it,” in rapid succession to every young mom I see.

It’s easy to romanticize a past time period in your life, but the adage is so true — kids grow up faster than you ever think they will, despite how long you may feel the days drag on when they’re still dependent. Try not to wish these days away because soon, ever so soon, your son will never again come out of his room, wearing a sheepish smile, all rosy-cheeked and tousle-haired, from his nap. Your daughter will never again climb on your lap with her blankie and suck her thumb and fall asleep as she listens to your heart beat.

I miss those days. You will too.

Do you ever find yourself wishing that your kids weren’t so dependent?

This judgmental attitude among parents is the main reason I decided to start my blog. There is no one right way to raise kids. Period. Each child is different and has individual needs that his or her parents usually know best. There are, of course, some clearly wrong ways to raise a child, i.e., hurting, mistreating or abusing kids in any way, but in general, I think we need to learn to be a lot more tolerant of each other’s parenting styles.

I am certainly not immune to thinking my methods are the gold standard, much as I hate to admit it. It’s not hard to settle into the comfortable feeling of wisdom that naturally comes with raising a larger-than-average family. It’s not that I think I know it all, by any means, but the fact is that I have had many parenting experiences, thanks to the size of my brood. These said experiences can sometimes lull me into complacency, and even a misguided feeling of superiority.

Here’s my challenge to you, as well as to myself: The next time you feel tempted to deride another parent’s way of dealing with her child, bite your tongue and think about how you would feel if someone criticized your inability to get your baby to sleep through the night, your toddler’s tendency to get into everything in sight or your teen’s insistence on wearing all black. And if you’ve raised your kids already, before you dole out any criticism and scorn, don’t forget that you were not perfect either. Most of us are simply doing our best, and really, isn’t that all our kids can ask for?

Which parenting areas inspire judgment and criticism in you?

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, grandmas, aunts and those who fill the role of mom to people in their lives.

I’m sitting here in my bedroom, watching TV, surfing the internet, playing mindless computer games and catching up on my magazines, while my children are keeping themselves occupied elsewhere. I told them they’re free to come in and visit me anytime they want, but so far, they’ve been too busy, I guess. At least the squabbling seems to be at a minimum.

I received one of the items on my wish list for Mother’s Day — a toothpaste dispenser! We’ll see if it actually makes my life any easier. I also got 3 red roses, potpourri in a basket and a big candle, as well as homemade cards from each of my kids. All in all, a very nice day.

The only shadow on today is the fact that my kids’ grandpa, my former father-in-law, had to be flown to Sioux Falls early this morning for emergency surgery. Thankfully the surgery went well and, barring any complications, he will be fine.

How about you? How was your Mother’s Day?

Not in this lifetime.

Honestly, it makes me sad that I can’t. It should be a normal part of any long-term, close relationship, shouldn’t it?

I don’t know why my parents didn’t say these words to us, but evidently it was hard for them. Because I felt a gaping hole from the lack of hearing it, I pushed through the discomfort and awkwardness that came with telling my newborn twins that I loved them and said it over and over and over again, until it felt natural. Now I tell my kids that I love them at least a couple times a day, always when they leave for school and before bed, and never does it feel strange. I even tell my nephews and nieces that I love them.

I’m so grateful that my kids can say it to each other with no mortification or embarrassment; that their relationships, though at times messy and conflicted, are overall loving and supportive. I’m proud when I hear them express their love freely to their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

What about you? Do you tell your kids you love them?

“Mom,” he said, looking at me gravely. “If you don’t give Cody another chance, I’m going to love Dad more than you.”

Needless to say, it didn’t work.

I started out with the same method, but then quickly realized that I was only making life harder for both myself and my poor twin daughters. They were curious and wanted to touch everything. When they first started walking, they understood the meaning of “no,” but they didn’t understand why. A one-year-old just doesn’t get why her playing with a “pretty” may result in breakage and upset feelings. With two of them, I was outnumbered anyway and before long, I felt like all I was saying to them was “no.”

That was when I decided that I would put anything I didn’t want broken up and out of reach of tiny little hands, until such time as they understood what “fragile” and “break” meant. This worked out well for us and I’m glad I did it that way because, frankly, I didn’t want my nice possessions broken in an effort to teach my toddlers not to touch them, nor did I want to be constantly hovering over them, waiting to correct a misguided touch. At other people’s houses, I watched them carefully to make sure that they didn’t handle anything they shouldn’t.

When they got older, they understood quite well what they could and couldn’t touch, and why. It was much easier to teach them later when they understood the logistics, i.e., breaking something caused an upset mother. I, in turn, didn’t lose anything I valued and was able to do other tasks without worrying that my toddlers were damaging anything. My motto — “If you don’t want it broken or damaged, put it away.”

This method might not be a desirable one for some parents and I’m certainly not saying it’s the only right one; it’s just what worked best for us. Part of this whole parenting journey is figuring out what suits our personalities and those of our children’s the best. Sometimes that might not be what others label as the “right” way, but in the end, we have to do what we feel is good for our kids and forget about what other people think.

How did you handle your toddlers and breakables? If you haven’t reached that stage yet, how do you plan to approach it?

(In case you can’t read it, here’s the translation:)

Lucky Cody

I think I’m lucky because I have a new baby cousin. I have a good mother.

“Oh, Cody, that’s so sweet!” I said, giving him a hug. “That really makes my day.”

The warm fuzzies immediately evaporated when he replied, “Yeah, I couldn’t think of anything else.”