This judgmental attitude among parents is the main reason I decided to start my blog. There is no one right way to raise kids. Period. Each child is different and has individual needs that his or her parents usually know best. There are, of course, some clearly wrong ways to raise a child, i.e., hurting, mistreating or abusing kids in any way, but in general, I think we need to learn to be a lot more tolerant of each other’s parenting styles.

I am certainly not immune to thinking my methods are the gold standard, much as I hate to admit it. It’s not hard to settle into the comfortable feeling of wisdom that naturally comes with raising a larger-than-average family. It’s not that I think I know it all, by any means, but the fact is that I have had many parenting experiences, thanks to the size of my brood. These said experiences can sometimes lull me into complacency, and even a misguided feeling of superiority.

Here’s my challenge to you, as well as to myself: The next time you feel tempted to deride another parent’s way of dealing with her child, bite your tongue and think about how you would feel if someone criticized your inability to get your baby to sleep through the night, your toddler’s tendency to get into everything in sight or your teen’s insistence on wearing all black. And if you’ve raised your kids already, before you dole out any criticism and scorn, don’t forget that you were not perfect either. Most of us are simply doing our best, and really, isn’t that all our kids can ask for?

Which parenting areas inspire judgment and criticism in you?

As the name implies, helicopter parenting refers to parents who hover over their children constantly, making their offspring the planet around which they orbit. Helicopter parents are entrenched in their children’s lives, so much so that even once they reach young adulthood, ages 18-20, some parents go along with their kids to job interviews and even interact with their college professors.

Here’s the Wikipedia definition:

Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. These parents rush to prevent any harm or failure from befalling them and will not let them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children’s wishes. They are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not.

Extreme? Not to some.

To be continued…

Because these coined terms are such hot topics right now (try Googling “parenting methods”), I’m going to be covering a handful of them. I’ll talk about what they mean, who supports them, why I think they’re good or bad and give you links to do some further reading yourself.

As always, I hope you’ll join in the discussion. As volatile of a subject as parenting is, I expect there to be plenty.

We’ll start tomorrow with Helicopter Parenting.