Turns out, she couldn’t find one. Not a single one. She came in my office, exasperated, and gave me a mini-lecture about how I don’t have enough pictures of myself and she needs one for her frame and I need to find one for her.

I patiently explained that I am highly un-photogenic, which is a sad understatement. “There just aren’t that many good pictures of me,” I lamented. Andie had to agree when, upon further questioning, she confessed to finding a single picture in her stash with me in it in which my eyes were half closed, giving me the appearance of complete intoxication.

People usually manage to snap me as I’m blinking, about to say something and my mouth is open, in the midst of a weird gesture or some other such socially unacceptable look. I must have many unnatural and strange facial expressions that flit over my face, however briefly, because the camera seems to capture every single one.

I just don’t photograph well. I’m much, much better in person, if I do say so myself. Consequently, I avoid the camera whenever possible, most particularly when people are shooting candids. I’m not in many of the pictures I own because almost all the ones I am in make me look ridiculous, if not scary.

Case in point:

Ah yes, this kind of photographic repelling takes some major innate talent, let me tell you. I thought it was particularly funny that I found 4 alone from one occasion, though I only posted 3. And this is just a teeny, tiny sampling of the many, many bad pictures of me that exist.

Can you blame me for running for cover when a camera appears?

Anyone else as weird, strange and scary on camera as I am? Please, please help me feel less alone with my lack of photogenic qualities…